This is So Chic, Very Chic, PAPER’s examination of Bravo’s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they’ve literally worn it all. We’ve just got two questions. Is it so chic? Is it very chic?
The Real Housewives of Potomac
Look at these gorgeous women in their blood-red crimson gowns! The heights these women have climbed too brings a tear to my eye. I am being genuine! It’s not sarcasm my dear readers detect in my voice, it’s melancholy, even sadness. The higher they climb, the further it is to fall. Just look at Karen Huger!
Stacey Rusch
I’ve been made aware that Stacey has, at some point, read this column — everyone say hey Stacey! While the dress was functionally the same dress as Ashley Darby’s dress from the last reunion, I enjoy this well enough. It’s a bit passé to wear a pageant dress to these things, as it is to wear something that could be a pageant dress. The matching pageant earrings are, perhaps, my favorite part of the look, as is this deep, buttery blush and the peak of cleavage. I expected better from Stacey, after her run of looks this season, but I’ll take what I can get. She carried this reunion on her back, she was too busy for a proper dress fitting!
I’ve said it just about every time Wendy’s appeared in the column this season, and I’ll say it again: nobody has ever looked more beautiful on television. From the dress to the feather train, this is what I want to see from women accused of widespread fraud and faking burglaries. I’ll let the courts do their job, as I’m neither her jury or judge. What I am is a writer and fashion critic interested in the stories told by reality TV star’s wardrobe picks. What a saga this dress has spun for us!
The softly laid sequins give it the appearance of liquid on her bodies in the wide shots, transforming into fish-lake scale shimmers in the close-ups. She’s like a mermaid that made a wish to yell at people on television about her college degrees. The glam has also never looked better, and I’m appreciative of the oddly shaped earrings. There was occasion to go with a chandelier or hoop here, but these curving, blood-red icicles give off quite a dramatic effect. Kudos to the whole team! It takes the confidence to go on television after being arrested for (alleged) fraud to wear a feather cape that dramatic.
I would have loved to like Ashley Darby’s dress. But as usual, she showed up in something ridiculous with very little payoff for me, personally. I do find this floral detail — big on the post-Jovani circuit right now — beautiful, if a bit boring. But it’s not until the wide shots that the problems here are brought into sharp relief.
I’m confused about the length. I’m confused about the shoe. I’m confused about this waterfall of fabric on her hip. I’m confused about patterning and ruching detail, which only heightens the absurdity of the dresses proportions. I’m disappointed because I know she can do better, this many seasons in and this many reunions under her belt. She dressed like Carmen Sandiego all season, for crying out loud, and we loved it! Where did that Ashley go, with the bob and hat and funny looking blazer?
Keiarna Stewart and Angel Massie
As usual, I love love love what Keiarna has on. As usual, I remain completely unaffected by the presence of Angel and her boudoir ensembles.
Back to Keiarna. If there’s anything I’ve come to rely on in the world of RHOP, it’s dresses that look like architectural marvels in the UAE. This fits the bill precisely. While the flared shoulder-collar is something viewers have seen plenty of on RuPaul’s Drag Race, it’s something I still haven’t seen enough of on The Real Housewives. It helps that crimson is her color and these earrings are about as big as Wendy’s ego. As for Angel, I’m sure this ensemble would look great in one of those lingerie photo books Real Housewives give their husbands when they turn 40.
Gizelle Bryant
What is this, Gizelle’s third, fourth, sixth off the shoulder dress at a reunion? I guess this ponytail is a new addition, but I’m living a Groundhog Day here! Give me something to work with Gizelle, please. I’m really trying my absolute best. If you did the same, maybe you’d be back in first seat at the reunion. I know you can do it, really! I know you have it in you!
Tia Glover
And then there was Tia. The woman didn’t give me much to work with this season, which is too bad, because she certainly has a personality perfect for a show like The Real Housewives of Potomac. The fold of this bust is perplexing, as is the single off the shoulder strap. I’m chalking it up to first-reunion nerves, as I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt. But just this once, Tia! I won’t be so gracious next season.
Images courtesy of NBC Universal/Bravo