36% of Canadians lie to their partner about money — what financial infidelity costs you and how to recover
Cohosts sitting at a podcast table
When a caller to The Ramsey Show revealed her husband had secretly been taking out US$350K (C$488K) in loans and lost it all in day trading, hosts John Delony and Rachel Cruze didn’t mince words. This wasn’t just a financial problem, this was betrayal.
Kate — a stay-at-home mother with a one-year-old and a baby on the way — said her husband had told her about the losses just a week earlier. The night before calling in, she learned that this had been going on throughout the entirety of their four-year marriage (1).
Her husband runs his own business and pays himself a US$60,000 (C$84,000) salary. She wasn’t sure, but suspected the money he used for his day trading may have been from business loans. Delony flagged that right away, noting that using business loans to make speculative trades could potentially constitute fraud.
Kate said they planned to file for bankruptcy and had already spoken to an attorney. But she was unclear about what else she needed to do.
“The world you knew, as of like two weeks ago, doesn’t exist anymore. The integrity of the man you anchored your life to doesn’t exist anymore, and you owning that reality is really important,” Delony said bluntly.
What Kate’s husband did has a name: Financial infidelity — and it’s more common than people realize.
A survey by Credit Canada and the Financial Planning Standards Council found that 36% of Canadians have lied to a partner about a financial matter, and 34% are currently keeping financial secrets from their partner (2). The most common offences range from hidden credit card debt and undisclosed purchases to secret loans and bank accounts — and in some cases, going bankrupt without telling a spouse.
Financial infidelity is a serious breach of trust. It can do lasting damage to both partners’ financial health and emotional well-being. Rebuilding a relationship after this kind of revelation is possible for some couples, but it requires full transparency, honest conversations about what happened and often professional support. For others, the damage runs too deep.
Delony was candid about the road ahead for Kate. “It’s rare for the whole story to come out at once,” he told her, warning that she should prepare herself for potentially more difficult revelations.
Cruze gave Kate a single urgent item: Immediately open her own bank account and ask her husband to deposit 50% of each paycheque into it. That one step could give her a baseline of financial safety — money in her own name that she controls, that he can’t touch, and that she can rely on for herself and her children, regardless of what happens next.
The hosts also advised the Kate gets a full picture of their finances as quickly as possible to assess the damage. That means asking her husband for all of his financial login information, freezing both of their credit cards and pulling credit reports on herself, her husband and even their child. Delony pointed out that people in financial crises don’t always think clearly — and in extreme cases, desperate spouses have been known to take out debt in a child’s name.
Taking advice from her husband on financial decisions at this point, Delony pointed out, would be “like your spouse cheating on you and then giving you dating advice.”
For Canadians in similar circumstances, it’s important to understand how debt responsibility works — because the rules are different here than in the U.S.
Generally, in Canada you’re not responsible for debts that are solely in your spouse’s name (3). From a creditor’s perspective, only the person who signed the loan agreement is liable. If your spouse took out a personal loan or business loan in their name only, that debt belongs to them.
That said, the picture gets a little more complicated during separation or divorce. Family law courts in Canada can treat debt acquired during a marriage as joint debt to be shared equally upon divorce, particularly if it can be shown that the debt benefitted the family. The rules vary significantly across provinces, so getting advice from a family lawyer in your area is essential.
Kate mentioned they’ll be filing for bankruptcy. In Canada, if one spouse is filing for personal bankruptcy, the other spouse’s credit isn’t automatically affected — but any joint debts remain the responsibility of both partners. To understand the nuances around this, it’s best to contact a Licensed Insolvency Trustee (LIT) for clarity on the specifics and how they may affect you.
Recovering from financial infidelity of this scale is a long road. For couples who want to try to repair the relationship, that usually means regular, structured conversations about money, shared access to financial accounts and often couples counselling to address the underlying issues.
But for Kate, the more pressing question is her own stability. She’s pregnant, caring for a baby and not currently working. Becoming financially independent in the short term will be difficult — but the hosts were clear that protecting herself and her children must come first.
She’ll need a family lawyer to navigate the divorce and debt division, and potentially a separate lawyer if her husband faces any criminal investigation related to the loans. Starting those conversations sooner rather than later gives her the best chance of protecting what she has.
Financial infidelity at this scale is devastating — and it can happen to anyone, in any relationship. The most important thing you can do to protect yourself is stay involved in your household finances, maintain access to your own accounts and never rely on a partner alone for financial information.
If you’re in a situation like this, a family lawyer and a financial counsellor are your first two calls. Credit Canada offers free, confidential counselling and can help you understand your options.
