Even though the majority of movies I watch are pretty serious, sometimes it’s nice to sit down and enjoy a movie that requires no brain power (perfect to enjoy while demolishing a bucket of popcorn). “Cold Storage” is the perfect example, and even though it’s one of the smaller releases this month, I have to admit it comes highly recommended. It’s an unhinged horror-comedy with major sci-fi thriller elements, and enough shock value to make your jaw ache from being on the floor.
Tom’s Guide Verdict: ‘Cold Storage’
- Rating: 3.5/5 stars
- Verdict: “Cold Storage” is a wildly fun horror-comedy with sci-fi thrills, gooey effects, and jaw-dropping chaos. It’s messy, outrageous, and thrilling, and the perfect Valentine’s Day date-night movie for anyone ready to embrace the madness.
- Where to watch: “Cold Storage” premieres in U.S. theaters on Feb. 13 and in the U.K on Feb. 20
From the screenwriter of “Jurassic Park” and producer of “Zombieland,” this new movie leans hard into creature chaos, gooey effects, and unapologetic fun. “Cold Storage” is meant to entertain rather than probe too deeply, which is a huge reason why I loved it (and why it was painful not being able to talk about it after my early screening). In fact, it’s a fun horror romp that could make for a great Valentine’s Day date night.
Based on David Koepp’s novel of the same name, “Cold Storage” is a genre‑blending flick that centers on two self‑storage facility employees who unexpectedly face a mutating, parasitic organism that has escaped containment deep beneath their building. Starring Joe Keery from “Stranger Things,” Georgina Campbell from “Barbarian,” and Liam Neeson, here’s why I urge you to watch “Cold Storage” on the big screen.
Alix Blackburn
I live for movies and get to see them early, which means I can share my honest, spoiler-free thoughts to help you pick what’s worth watching!
‘Cold Storage’ is utterly bonkers in the best way
“Cold Storage” is definitely one of the most unhinged movies I’ve seen in a while, and that’s a very good thing. I knew within the first 15 minutes that this would be a wild ride, starting with the revelation that the government once used a space station to store highly classified scientific experiments.
I can confirm the chaos is an absolute blast because the gleefully wild script barely gives you a moment to think.
When the station re-entered Earth’s atmosphere in 1979, most of its debris fell into the ocean, but fragments landed on land as well, including an oxygen tank near a tiny village in Australia. When the village goes completely off the grid, bioterror agent Robert (Neeson) and his partner team up with Dr. Hero Martins (Sosie Bacon) to investigate.
They discover a parasitic fungus that mutates rapidly, spreads easily, and is deadly to anyone it infects. Fast-forward 18 years to remote mines in Kansas, once a high-security, top-secret U.S. Department of Defense facility. After years of abandonment, it has been converted into a 24-hour self-storage business.
Here we meet Teacake (Keery), a talkative, slightly neurotic worker, and his new co-worker Naomi (Campbell), who are about to stumble into chaos beyond anything they could imagine. I can confirm the chaos is an absolute blast because Koepp’s gleefully wild script barely gives you a moment to think, and as a genre lover, I was thrilled.
Part of why “Cold Storage” works so well is down to Keery and Campbell’s charming chemistry, with effortless banter that makes you root for them. Their conversations feel like real dialogue between two curious people who are bored at their jobs and eager to investigate what’s lurking beneath their feet. While Neeson brings a more serious edge as he tries to contain the fungus, I have to give it to Keery and Campbell because without them, the humor wouldn’t pop. The movie’s competing tones might not be for everyone, but for me they inject a lively energy that keeps the story thrilling enough.
As a huge horror fan, I’m all for practical effects, and “Cold Storage” delivers plenty of green slime, exploding guts, and crusty, pulsating vines that spread across floors and, unfortunately, penetrate skin. Even though much of the movie relies on CGI — and not all of it is of the highest quality — it only adds to the comedic appeal. Amid the gory madness, we have a genuinely fun sci-fi horror-comedy that might take a little while to get going, but rewards you for sitting back and embracing the chaos. Plus, there are moments where you have to seriously suspend your disbelief.
Verdict: ‘Cold Storage’ is perfect popcorn entertainment
Coming out of my early screening, I immediately called this perfect popcorn entertainment, and it’s meant as a compliment. Sometimes it’s nice to watch a movie that’s fun, easy to follow, and doesn’t take itself too seriously. After all, no one wants to be stuck with serious movies all the time, right? “Cold Storage” offers plenty of green goo and laughs in equal measure, with some clever camera work. That includes a standout moment where we follow a cockroach carrying the fungus as it travels through pipes to the surface. Truly impressive stuff.
The only real complaints are the limited use of practical effects and a script that takes a little too long to build tension, but everything else about “Cold Storage” is pure, unhinged fun. Keery, already familiar with the sci-fi intensity of “Stranger Things,” and Campbell, experienced in navigating the horrors of dark basements in “Barbarian,” know exactly how to work this gem of a movie. This Valentine’s Day, skip the flowers and grab some slime, because “Cold Storage” is the date-night thrill you didn’t know you needed.
“Cold Storage” hits U.S theaters on February 13
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