Dear Miss Manners: I believed that wearing all black was proper dress for anyone at a funeral, or any such service. In recent years, though, this seems to have changed. “Church dress,” or subdued outfits in muted colors, seem to be acceptable.
A friend told me that it is pretentious to dress in all black when the deceased is not a close friend or family member. It seeks to claim a status as a mourner that the wearer does not deserve.