Sarah Screams (Fashion Advice) is The Michigan Daily’s biweekly fashion advice column. Submit your questions here!
I have something to confess. Men are often on my mind. As of late, I’ve been centering men. And by centering men, I mean talking egregious shit about disgusting men with my best friend. We’re known for hating men — me more than her. That is, up until about a year ago, when, against all of my man-hating tenets of womanhood, I got a boyfriend. (But, seriously, guys, he’s not like the rest.) Now, as my aforementioned best friend and I turn over new leaves — she just dyed her hair brown after a lifetime of being blonde — I’m also beginning to think some men are capable of empathy. After a long stint of only interacting with men who trigger a physical recoil, I’ve realized maybe the “not all men” rhetoric may actually be true.
For these select few men seeking to expand their empathetic capabilities and move beyond Clairo-baiting their romantic prospects, I suggest (get this!) seeing women as unique individuals who are worthy of your individual effort. The worst that can happen is that a beautiful woman manipulates you — a thrill I can only hope comes true as a result of this column.
This question has been edited for clarity.
How do I dress well as a man without seeming performative? – E
I’ve had a few questions about men’s fashion. I must say I am flabbergasted that anyone would trust me with styling men, but I’m equally enthusiastic about the challenge.
The internet’s manufactured “performative male” archetype took over last summer. The concept of this question feels steeped in chronic online-ness. Nevertheless, we persist past the internet’s archaic assertion that fashion is not for everyone.
I think a lot of what makes the “performative” male style so annoying is that it often feels disgustingly insincere. I don’t deny a man’s right to carry things sensibly in a tote bag or wear a slutty little cardigan, but it feels like the “performative” men are treating traditionally feminine aspects of fashion as a shiny lure to catch only the prettiest fish in the sea. It’s not that they actually acknowledge Clairo’s genius; it’s that they know the girl in their random humanities lecture does.
It’s always important to dismantle the gender constructs we have around certain pieces of clothing. Even though it can be helpful to reference internet aesthetics for inspiration, leaning into the specific aspects that make those “performative” outfits appealing to you will help you find your own personal spin on the look. As you slowly recognize the patterns in your fashion preferences, you’ll be able to string outfits together that feel and look more like they’re straight out of your beautiful mind rather than the performative male fashion machine.
Do the work to make your outfit the embodiment of you, not the sensationalized “performative male.” Then, and only then, will the Clairo lovers come up to you unprovoked.
Take heart, young grasshopper. Caring about fashion makes me like you despite your man-ness.
Daily Arts Writer Sarah Patterson can be reached at sarahpat@umich.edu.