By Chris Snellgrove
| Published
You want the really short review of They Will Kill You? Here it is: “We’ve got Ready or Not at home.”
As a movie about a young woman (played by Zazie Beets) who must fight for her life against rich devil worshipers, it’s clear that this film was inspired by Ready or Not, a film in which a young woman (played by Samara Weaving) must, well, fight for her life against devil worshipers. The blunt truth is that They Will Kill You really suffers from the inevitable comparison: Ready or Not had better kills, better humor, and better characters, and the sequel (which brought the awesome Kathryn Newton into the mix) arguably perfects this quirky narrative formula. By comparison, They Will Kill You comes across like someone is frantically copying a better student’s paper.
With that said, it’s a fairly good copy. Zazie Beets (who genre nerds will best know for her appearances in Joker and Deadpool 2) is really great in the role of a young woman who infiltrates a wealthy household as their latest maid. It turns out that she is on a mission to rescue her little sister, and she’s spent the last decade in a particularly brutal prison. Constant fighting with other inmates has given her the kind of fighting skills that would make John Wick blush, but she must now fight the ultimate foe: Satanists who, through a demonic pact, seemingly can’t stay dead.
Destined For A “Cult” Following
As you have probably sussed out, They Will Kill You doesn’t really have a lot of plot to get in the way of the movie. The highly unoriginal premise is just an excuse to get our main character into a series of memorable fights with bland characters. Interestingly, the fights are heavily flavored by martial arts movies; while Ready or Not favored more realistic combat, often emphasizing Samara Weaving’s vulnerability against stronger, better-armed foes. They Will Kill You transforms Zazie Beets into a borderline superhuman kung-fu star who never truly seems like she’s in danger because she is infinitely more dangerous than her enemies.
That’s not inherently a bad thing, of course: if you want to see a gorgeous woman engage in scene after scene of ultraviolence, They Will Kill You is an entertaining, nonstop thrill ride. Beets imbues her character with passionate intensity that makes every kill feel transgressively intimate, which helps make up for how bland almost everyone she fights is. Plus, the film as a whole is anything but boring: once the barebones plot is established, almost every single scene is nonstop, stylized violence that you can’t tear your eyes away from.
She Didn’t Start The Fire
The result is a mixed bag of a movie, and how much you enjoy it will depend on your sensibilities as a film lover and simply what you’re in the mood for at the time. As a “turn your brain off” action picture, They Will Kill You is stunning: we get killer fight after killer fight, all of which culminates in a demonic showdown that’s as fierce as it is funny. Horror fans will enjoy all the buckets of blood Zazie Beets spills, and Quentin Tarantino fans will enjoy high-energy battles that were very clearly inspired by Kill Bill.
If you want something more, though, you’re out of luck. The plot (minus a few very fun twists near the end) is depressingly by the numbers, and Beets is basically the only actor who gets to shine. This is a film that also stars genre heavyweights Tom Felton and Patricia Arquette, but they are given so little to do that they feel like just another pair of blood-soaked set pieces. The attempts at quirky humor (the kind that Ready or Not excelled at) often fall flat, and even the breathless action scenes get repetitive over time. This is ultimately a film that only has one gear, and whether or not you enjoy it depends greatly on what your expectations are.
Obviously, having watched Ready or Not 2 recently, I couldn’t help but be a little disappointed by They Will Kill You, a movie that copied that Samara Weaving franchise’s core idea without adding much to the formula. But “little” is the operating word here: Zazie Beets does her best work yet as the lead, the action is fun and memorable, and the climax is bonkers in the best possible way. Is all of this highly derivative of better films? Of course! But for better or for worse, They Will Kill You is the best unoriginal movie you will ever see.
