Christopher Oveis, an associate professor at the Rady School of Management
4. It’s contagious: even witnesses benefit.
In related research, Oveis found that the positive effects of gratitude ripple outward. When people witness someone expressing gratitude — even if it’s not directed at them — they tend to feel more connected and cooperative. Oveis also found that expressing gratitude when there are others around to witness it, makes the act more meaningful for both the expressor and receiver.
“Observers want to be around people who express gratitude,” he explained. “They’re more likely to want to help, collaborate and share. Gratitude spreads.”
This is especially true for leaders. “When you feel grateful, don’t be afraid to express it,” Oveis said. “It will have a positive impact on you and a profound impact on your employees’ performance.”
5. The best ‘thank yous’ focus on the other person.
Not all thank-yous are created equal. Oveis points to research by his collaborator Sara Algoe of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill showing that the most effective expressions of gratitude are other-focused — emphasizing the kindness or thoughtfulness of the giver.
“When your thank you centers on the other person — like, ‘You really went out of your way to help me, you were incredibly thoughtful’ — it strengthens the bond,” Oveis said. “If you focus only on your own need — like, ‘I really needed that’ — it doesn’t hit as deeply.”
So, next time you say thanks, put the “you” in your thank you.
A simple practice with big ripple effects
Whether at work, at home, or around the Thanksgiving table, Oveis encourages people to express gratitude authentically.
“It’s not about going around saying thank you just to check a box,” he said. “People can tell when it’s not genuine. But when you really feel it — that’s the time to let it out. Everyone benefits.”
And if you’re spending Thanksgiving with family or friends, Oveis said, it’s a perfect opportunity to do just that.
“Taking a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for is good for you,” he said. “But actually saying it to the people around you — that’s what strengthens relationships. You’re sitting at a table with people who matter to you, and letting that gratitude out can make everyone feel more connected.”
Or, as Oveis puts it most simply:
“If you feel gratitude, let it out. Don’t hold it in.”