Though You Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, You Will Emerge
A Valley No One Is Prepared For
In the past year, I walked through one of the deepest valleys of my life. My husband, Jim, lived with a rare combination of illnesses that left the world’s top specialists searching for answers. For years, our daughter would remind doctors, “My dad is a zebra. You keep treating him like a horse.” It became our shorthand for his life: Jim did not fit any standard medical pattern.
Only recently did we learn just how true that was. A Johns Hopkins physician told us Jim’s case ranked among the 20 to 30 most complex in the entire country. Suddenly, the years of uncertainty made sense—the unpredictable symptoms and the unanswered questions.
After I shared lessons I learned from Jim’s illness and passing, people from around the world reached out. Many were caring for a sick spouse or child, saying goodbye to a parent, or carrying both burdens at once. I was grateful to share how much we leaned on both faith and science—and how each helped keep us going when things were hard.
Your life doesn’t come with a roadmap. Incomprehensible moments show up without warning, shake your routine, and test you emotionally and mentally. That’s why your faith—and the friends who stand with you and trust that God still has a plan—matter so much. They help you stay grounded and guide you through whatever challenge you face next.
Recently, the Faith & Media Initiative hosted a panel called Faith and Flourishing: The Untold Story to address the role of faith in health and wellness. The panel—Lipi Roy, MD, Lynn Swain, and Dr. Justin Dyer—argued that faith and wellness are not separate conversations. They are intertwined in ways research can now measure, communities can feel, and individuals live through daily.
Faith Supports Well-Being
mental health. You experience less loneliness, more happiness, lower suicide and addiction, and stronger relationships.
Believing in something greater than yourself helps you make sense of suffering by providing context and meaning. Prayer, meditation, song, and rituals reduce stress and help you stabilize your emotions. Your church, temple, or synagogue can give you a sense of belonging.
Faith, or the act of letting go and giving your anxiety to someone else to “hold,” can strengthen immune function and improve stress responses. These benefits do not replace evidence-based medical interventions, but they do help you endure with greater emotional strength.
The reality is that when you and your family are experiencing illness or grief, these patterns are not abstract. It is your life.
The Media Is Missing the Full Story
Unfortunately, many times, social media and movies only sensationalize the most tragic moments and negative influences of a faith community–treating negative experiences as the norm rather than the exception. The good news is that, unlike what you see on TV, a study of 22 countries and 182K participants found that religious connections are associated with lower loneliness and improved mental health.
This imbalance matters. When the benefits of faith are left out of the narrative:
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- Young people see religion as irrelevant or strange
- The public misses insights into how people cope
- A significant source of resilience goes unrecognized
Yet the global picture tells a different story. Many faith communities report among the world’s highest levels of life satisfaction. Public figures like Martin Sheen and Demi Lovato are increasingly speaking openly about the role of faith in their recovery and mental health. Interfaith identities—people drawing wisdom from more than one tradition—are becoming more common. A close friend of mine is a devoted Christian who also draws strength from Buddhist philosophy; for her, the two reinforce one another.
Faith is not a relic of the past. It remains an active, force in the lives of billions. Let’s focus our media stories on that.
What Flourishing Really Looks Like
Human flourishing may be one of the most misinterpreted phrases. It is not about constant happiness. It is about having the foundation to face life’s complex moments with strength and meaning.
A connection—through prayer, community, or shared rituals—reduces fear and builds trust. Many spiritual practices stimulate a calm, grounded state that supports both emotional and physical healing.
Faith also helps you interpret pain. It does not eliminate your suffering or remove the emotion of grief, but it offers you perspective and hope. In moments when your life feels unfair, your faith can provide context.
Jim’s Story: When Research Becomes a Personal Journey
Our family’s journey reflects these truths.
Jim’s illness tested us in ways we could never have imagined. There were multiple times when his weight dropped below 100 pounds. We
could not ignore or hide our reality. Yet even during the most challenging stretches, Jim focused on purpose. He continued launching companies, mentoring others, and showing up for our family with humor and love.
His resilience was not a refusal to accept reality—it was courage. It was a choice to live fully, despite mental exhaustion and his physical disabilities.
Faith played a quiet but powerful role in that resilience. It gave our family terms for fear and hope. It brought friends and neighbors into our lives in steady, meaningful ways. It reminded us that hardship was part of a bigger medical research story.
After Jim’s passing, we have chosen to donate his medical records to researchers training AI systems to better diagnose and predict rare diseases. We have learned that Jim’s data may help future families gain answers more quickly. In that way, Jim continues the pattern of his life—contributing quietly and generously to a better future for others.
In the same way, the Biblical story of Job helped provide hope for millions throughout the centuries; Jim’s and others’ complex diseases may soon do the same for hundreds of others through the deployment of AI.
A Better Way to Tell the Story of Faith
If we want to understand human flourishing, the major mass media’s storytelling needs to change.
Good reporting can:
Leaving faith out of public discussion means leaving out a significant part of what helps people survive challenging times.
A Closing Reflection
Walking through the valley of death with Jim changed my daughter and me. Suffering and grief may have modified our reactions and perspectives, but we didn’t disappear. We are still here. Living and learning from the love we share. Faith does not promise us an easy path—only a meaningful one.
Psalm 23 holds a line that carried us through many dark nights: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me.”
Every day for the past two years, these words assured us that we would never walk alone. Although we may stumble, our faith gives us just enough light to take the next step.
Jim’s life—and the knowledge his medical history provides to the undiagnosed community—reminds me that faith and science are not rivals. They work together to reveal the truth and enable progress that benefits others.
And even in the shadow of his death, that truth carries us forward.
SEE MORE:
Faith and Flourishing: Why Media Must Tell the Wellness Story