Bravo Fashion Roundup: Kyle Richards Explains Sexuality

Rachel Zoe

I lied about there being knock-off Chanel blazers to bitch about this week. Instead, I’d like to first focus on how hot Rachel Zoe looks in this sherpa vest. I don’t think I ever envisioned myself saying things like “Rachel Zoe looks hot in a sherpa vest,” but we live in a brave new world. This is simply how I adapt to it. Besides the sherpa vest, I love that she always seems plucked right from the background of Almost Famous, a movie she probably thinks she’s living in.

Sutton Stracke

It’s funny to know that sat across from the sherpa vest is Sutton in a blazer. Longtime readers will know that Sutton is always in a blazer — but this one is special! She’s in a blazer and it’s embellished on the collar. Nobody in the history of blazer design has ever thought of this before. Her croc-effect Birkin only adds to the tension of the outfit, as does her tightly drawn on waterline and Mac lipstick in Twig.

Bozoma Saint John

We often see Boz in orange, and thank god! She looks stunning here, from the hair to the wrap to the color of this dress. It’s an outfit where going big has real payoff, although I’d liked to have seen something with a bit heftier fabric. This isn’t to call the dress inherently cheap, but in the wide shocks, I could have sworn it was made from the stretch jersey that they use for most downstream TJ Maxx designer clothing.

Sutton Stracke and Bozoma Saint John

Later in the episode, Boz wore gold to her singles mixer while everyone else wore black. Sutton specifically wore a black jumpsuit with butterfly sleeves and no tracks in her hair. I don’t like either of these outfits, but at least one of them dressed for the occasion! While Boz looks like those women who film get-ready-with-me videos for their anniversary with a man they met on a cruise, Sutton looks like she’s at the wake for the third husband she hated and his new wife, who both fell off the side of the cruise Boz met her man on.

Dorit Kemsley and Rachel Zoe

Elsewhere at the singles mixer was Dorit in a mesh outfit and Rachel Zoe in fur and sequins. Zoe, in a confessional, said women shouldn’t look like they’d gotten ready when on a date, as it is a turn-off for guys to think a woman is high maintenance. I don’t know what about her fourteen feet of blonde hair or fur shawl scream “low maintenance,” but I’m happy that she’s happy.

Dorit, meanwhile, is Sutton’s plus one to the wake of that poor man and his poor new wife. I hear they’re making a true crime documentary about the cruise, after a TikTok video said the cartel was involved.

Erika Jayne

Erika didn’t even attempt to dress for a singles mixer. She moonlights as a funeral director at the place they held the wake, and had to leave the singles mixer early to set up the flowers and field inquiries from the press, who lined up outside with the influencers streaming on TikTok Live.

Gizelle Bryant

This is probably the first time that Gizelle looks like she didn’t get dressed in the dark. She very much got dressed in a well lit room and made the best possible choice from the worst of her closet. Jokes aside, I think this color is beautiful, despite the fact she’s washed out by the hair and glam, which is just a bit too peachy for a nude illusion dress.

Another positive? I find the lack of a necklace or pendant refreshing! Most lesser stylists would suggest one, what with the low cut of this dress and all. But I find it works just fine without.

Ashley Darby

Ashley Darby did get dressed in the dark, but that’s only because she is also Carmen San Diego and oftentimes has to change in supply closets and in the bathrooms of planes to a foreign countries, where she’ll also have to change in a confessional booth or basement spy hideout. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about the gloves, but I do know I should laugh at the Balmain skirt and blazer set. In fact, I’m laughing at the hat too, for sure, and I suggest my readers do the same.

Stacey Rusch

Hello, wow! I didn’t know this week’s column would contain an entry for the most beautiful woman in the world contest I hold periodically. What a surprise, Stacey! This gold is delicious, and such a refreshing take on fashion and being beautiful after last week’s boob prison dress. I love the subtle flower detail, I love the glam, and I love the color of this hair. Kudos, mama!

Keiarna is not a very good Real Housewives star, but she is a phenomenal dresser. This Cinq À Sept dress and the braided brown look are exquisite. I wish the taste levels carried into her choice of enemies and allies, but beggars can’t be choosers! On a show oftentimes starved for taste, Keiarna is a ray of absolute sunshine.

Should I offer some small criticism: I’d like to see her makeup artist move away from this specific eye shape, with the wide highlighter under the brow and carved out crease. It’s dated in a way that clashes with how forward thinking the clothes are.

Wendy Osefo

I found it silly that this is the dress Wendy wore to beef with her mom onscreen. It’s a delightful little number, despite how washed out the glam is. The heart cutout is funny enough, but then they went and bedazzled the outline! It’s like the dresses I used to envy in the windows at Limited Too.

Angel Massie

I oftentimes forget that Angel is a cast member on this show. It’s not her fault that she’s been ceremonially dumped from the group hangs, or that the clothes swallow her whole. Well, I guess it is her fault on both fronts, but I know she did her best! Now she’s gone and I’ve already forgotten her again.

Hey, at least she gave us some drama with this makeup!

Images courtesy of Bravo/NBC Universal