Man Refuses to Tell Wife How Much Money He Makes or Give ‘Any Insight’ into Finances

Finances can be uncomfortable to talk about, especially after years of side-stepping the topic.

In a Reddit post, a woman shared that she and her husband got married this year after being together for nine years. When they first started dating, he was very private about his money, so the pair never sat down to have a serious conversation about finances before tying the knot.

“As we’ve been together, we’ve slowly morphed into me working a part-time job and him paying all the bills which I am very grateful for and trying my best to show my appreciation as much as I can,” she wrote. “I also take care of all of the household duties and pay for groceries about half the time.”

“We’ve seemed to settle into this arrangement with no issues from either side,” she continued. “He’s never disclosed how much money he makes annually or given me any insight into his finances.”

While she doesn’t know her husband’s exact salary, she’s sure “there’s no debt or anything like that for a few reasons I can’t disclose here.” She also noted that her husband has a good credit score and no gambling debts that she knows about.

When the woman received an offer for a six-figure job, however, her husband advised her not to accept it because it would mean they couldn’t travel to the places he wanted to visit. 

“He also bought our new house without me being present or even knowing he purchased it, saying it was a surprise,” she wrote. “I did tour it before and really liked it so it wasn’t an issue, it’s just the fact that I was not included in this decision-making.”

As they plan for their future, the woman wants to get a better idea of their financial situation. While she pays for her own expenses with money from her job, if they have a child, then she would likely cut back her hours.

The woman keeps a spreadsheet of spending and tracks their bills, but still, her husband “will not tell me how much money he makes or show me bank accounts/statements (although I have seen one or two over the years on the counter).”

“He says I could assume from our lifestyle and cars that we’re well off. Our house is worth seven figures and our cars are around six figures,” she wrote. “I said I understood that but I feel that if I’m going to have a child with you and become more dependent, I’d like to fully understand. He says that it’s not important and that I’ll tell people.” 

The woman emphasized that she is grateful for the life her husband provides, but she doesn’t want to go into parenthood without understanding the full scope of the situation.

“He thinks that it shouldn’t matter because I’m taken care of but I never anticipated I’d be in this position. I’ve always been a career-oriented person until this relationship,” the woman wrote. 

People in the comments section questioned why she never brought up the topic of finances before they got married, pointing out that that should have been the first topic of conversation. 

“I am throwing this out there to everyone that gets married. You are being dumb if you don’t have a indepth conversation about finances with full transparency before getting married,” one person commented. 

“He bought the house before you got married so that if you get divorced it will be considered a pre-marital asset and you’ll have no rights to it. He is hiding a lot intentionally and if you want to stay with him you need to be independent and get your ducks in a row because he is not going to take care of you,” another person wrote.