FIRE is a personal finance movement which stands for ‘financial independence, retire early.’brizmaker/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
Kristy Shen retired in her 30s and is an author of the bestselling book Quit Like a Millionaire.
A reader wrote to us recently asking whether to delay her early retirement to spend money on her family and health. She wants IVF fertility treatments to have children, and would like to spend some money on coaching as an endurance athlete.
Neither of those things are cheap. Would it be a good idea to forgo those things to achieve her early retirement FIRE (financial independence, retire early) goal at age 45? After all, she wants to stop working while she’s still young.
As someone who retired in their 30s after working a stressful job and investing for nine years, I understand the allure of having infinite time to pursue your passions, travel the world and spend time doing whatever you want, whenever you want.
It might seem quite logical to pursue this dream by accumulating money as quickly as possible, even at the detriment of everything else.
Ten years ago, as a bright-eyed 32-year-old, I would’ve thought this a noble pursuit. After all, I’d been taught by my mom that “money is the most important thing in the world.” When you grow up living on 44 cents a day, you focus constantly on making more money.
A summer camp for grown-ups trying to escape the work force forever with FIRE
While I still think FIRE is one of the best things I’ve pursued, I don’t think it’s worth sacrificing your relationships and health.
Money is a tool to help you buy back your time. But what good is free time if you spend it sad, sick or alone?
Even Warren Buffett, one the world’s most celebrated investors said in his biography, that the highest measure of success in life comes by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you.
“Some people die filthy rich and get buildings named after them, but the truth is that nobody in the world loves them.”
I understand what he is saying. I feel it whenever my husband laces his fingers through mine as we walk down the street. Whenever my son wraps his sticky fingers around my neck and plants wet kisses on my cheek. Whenever my friends – my chosen family – bring me homemade soup after another harrowing week of household illnesses.
Instead of thinking of FIRE as a yardstick that measures your life’s success, think of it as a well. It gives you a steady source of options.
You can “draw” on it for financial security when you need to step back from work to spend time with family. Or for when work gets overwhelming, and you need to downshift or pivot to another career for your health.
It isn’t a “one-and-done” goal, but a resource you can continue replenishing and draw from as your life evolves.
Since water is fluid and adaptable, so are your FIRE plans. You can continue your dreams of building a family, supporting loved ones, or occasionally go back to participating in the working world to earn money rather than closing off the well once you’ve hit a specific financial target.
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Replenishing the well and drawing on it in times of need works best when you know your values and priorities. Don’t draw from it mindlessly to pay for status symbols that only feed your ego.
Draw from it to improve your health and water your relationships. Replenish it by forgoing those things you don’t care about so you can draw from it for things you do care about.
Here’s how I responded to the reader: “Sacrificing starting a family to achieve FIRE is not worth it. Neither is sacrificing your health. I would rather you retire later with the family you want, and in amazing physical shape, rather than retiring at 45 with no family and in worse health.”
When it comes to FIRE, money is important but it’s not everything. Measure your life by love instead of money, and you’ll be truly wealthy.