Eintracht attackiert Kruse mit Penis-Video!
Even those who do not speak any German will recognise that the Bundesliga weekend began with a melodrama for the digital age on Friday.
“Eintracht attack Kruse with penis video” is the translation, if needed, of a headline which ran in Bild, Germany’s biggest tabloid, on Saturday morning, and which is part of a viral saga.
It has its roots in a podcast discussion between two former football players, Max Kruse and Martin Harnik. Speaking on the Flatterball podcast, which is hosted by Kruse, the two were highly critical of Albert Riera, who was recently appointed as Eintracht Frankfurt’s head coach.
Riera, 43 and a Spaniard, has caused a stir in German football with his press conferences. He’s charismatic and bold and, despite having only been in his job for two weeks, has already produced a raft of soundbytes about his coaching techniques and his means of fostering team spirit.
Kruse and Harnik are not fans. They have interpreted some of his performances as demonstrations of ego, and spoke on that podcast episode about wanting to see Riera fail and brought down a peg or two.
“He’s the kind of guy, to be quite honest, for whom I don’t wish him any success,” Harnik said, “I just think to myself: watching him fade away without making a mark would be pretty funny.”
Kruse agreed.
“I get the feeling he comes up with something new every week to really stand out, I think it’s all just a bit of a show.”
Some context: Kruse is a former German international forward who also played for Union Berlin and Wolfsburg. He’s a one-on-one character and it’s not unusual for Flatterball to produce headlines, to feature blunt opinions and to attract attention.
In addition, while German football certainly has its personalities and idiosyncrasies, it is still exists within a relatively conservative society. Boastfulness, as it has been perceived in this case, typically does not draw a favourable response among Germans.
The comments made by Kruse and Harnik are also in reference to Riera’s coaching career being in its infancy. As a winger, he may have played for Liverpool and the Spanish national team and enjoyed a high profile. But as a coach, he arrived from NK Celje, in Slovenia, and it’s highly unusual for someone of that background to hold court in front of the media.
He’s doing it in English, too. That in itself is not unusual, it happens regularly, but it has been known to grate on the occasional traditionalist.
In any case, at Riera’s final press conference before Saturday’s game against Bayern Munich, a reporter from Bild asked him what he made of the Flatterball episode and the comments made by Kruse and Harnik.
Riera is unflappable. He’s the kind of coach who seems to enjoy press conference theatre and was not ruffled in the slightest.
Albert Riera claimed not to have heard of Kruse and Harnik following their criticism of him (Fabio Deinert/Getty Images)
“Who? Are they footballers?” Riera replied, confused.
A demeaning put-on, perhaps, but it’s perfectly plausible that he had never heard of either Harnik or Kruse. The former was an Austrian international, but never played outside Germany. Kruse did, briefly for Fenerbahce between 2019 and 2020, but — like Harnik — he has more of national, rather than international reputation.
“I’m not here to criticise anyone,” Riera continued. “But you have to know one thing: when you speak, especially as a public figure, there are always pros and cons. You have haters, you have people who like you.”
And that would have been the end of the saga, had Eintracht Frankfurt’s official X account not taken up the cause.
Quote tweeting a Bild article in which Riera’s answers to Kruse and Harnik were covered, the account wrote
“Dear Bild, let’s agree that questions to our head coach in press conferences should not be based on opinions from a podcast in which one of the two hosts has already had his d*** circulating through the internet. Anything else would be unserious. Thanks.”
A story that did not need a third act has one. Back in 2016, when Kruse was a Wolfsburg player, a video that he recorded of his genitals (and sent to his girlfriend of the time) appeared in the national press.
Kruse had more than one scandal in his career. He was extremely talented, but not always the easiest to manage; he fell out with more than one coach. He had difficulties off the field, too.
Back in 2015, he left a bag with tens of thousands of Euros in the back of taxi in Berlin. He’s a keen Poker player, loves expensive sports cars, and back in 2024, appeared in Germany’s equivalent of Celebrity Big Brother. The closest British equivalent might be a 1970s terrace cult hero — a Stan Bowles, perhaps, or a Rodney Marsh.
It makes him a Marmite character: loved or hated. Nevertheless, Eintracht Frankfurt have been criticised in the aftermath, and are accused — with their social media activity — of making fun of a leak which occurred against Kruse’s will. The public was never supposed to see his Penis-Video and it’s incredibly unusual, in Germany or in most other European countries, for a club’s official social media account to hit back with such force.