An Honest Kid’s Review of ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie‘

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie marks a milestone in my moviegoing life. It’s the first sequel my daughter and I have seen in the theater to a movie we also saw together in a theater.

My daughter joined all her other favorite franchises midstream. The first Frozen came out before she was born. She was too young to go see Moana on the big screen. But The Super Mario Bros. Movie hit her at the perfect age; right as her cousin introduced her to the Nintendo Switch, Super Mario Kart, and Super Smash Bros. 

I wasn’t a fan of the first animated Mario, which I thought was a not especially super adaptation of the property. My oldest adored it, naturally, and when she learned that Yoshi, her favorite Mario character, was joining the cast for the sequel, she was especially excited to see it.

For me, the highlight of these films is just getting to go to them with her. I love taking my children to the movies, and I love the conversations they tend to generate on the ride home. Is it because I am an emotionally stunted man who doesn’t know how to connect with his children except through the films we watch? Who could say!

Either way, in the last few years I began recording these post-screening conversations — surreptitiously at first, although now my daughter knows what’s going on and gladly participates — and turning them into Q&A-style pieces about the movies and whatever strange detours our chats take. What follows is a lightly-edited transcript of our discussion about the worst voice performance in the film, whether watching someone play video games is any different than watching someone play baseball, if Mario is better than Luigi, and whether Birdos are Yoshis and vice versa. A few minor spoilers have been redacted, when appropriate.

READ MORE: A Brutally Honest Kids Review of Zootopia 2

What did you think about the movie?

It was pretty good.

Yeah? What did you like about it?

Yoshi, the all-star best character, was finally in it.

That’s it? It had Yoshi, and that was good enough.

Yoshi was the best part of it, but there was other stuff. Let’s see… [long pause] I liked that Rosalina was in it.

Do you remember the first Mario movie?

Yeah.

Which did you like better?

The second movie. Yoshi was in it. And also it had a lot of characters. It was fun, there was a lot of funny parts. Not that there weren’t funny parts in the first movie, but there were a bunch in this movie. There was a lot of sweet stuff too. Like with Bowser Jr. and Bowser.

Why do you like Yoshi so much?

Because all he says is [Yoshi voice] “Yoshi!” He’s hilarious.

But that’s all he says! What’s so funny about that?

Imagine if I only said my name every time you asked me something!

That sounds pretty annoying, to be honest with you. I think I would go crazy.

He’s also a dinosaur. I’ve always liked dinosaurs.

Do you like when they make sequels to movies?

Yes.

You wouldn’t rather go see movies that are totally new that aren’t based on anything?

I like doing that, because you have no clue what they’re going to be like. But I kind of like the idea that there’s always more to the adventure.

I see.

The hard part about making a movie like this is that first you need permission from Nintendo to do it, which isn’t that hard. But then there’s only so many characters that you can work off of. And there’s some things you can’t change. You’ve got to keep the basics.

It felt to me like they threw in a lot of characters this time.

Yeah.

Was it too many characters?

Not too many that it felt overwhelming, but I think it was just a lot.

It was a lot.

There was [SPOILER REDACTED], [SPOILER REDACTED], Yoshi, Rosalina. They even threw in [SPOILER REDACTED]. And so many others that I didn’t recognize, but I’m sure they exist in something else. Oh and Birdo. They’re in there too! Everyone’s in there.

What about movies based on video games. Would you rather just play the game? Or is it fun seeing the movie version?

That’s the tricky part about making the movies. You want to see it even though you could play the game. It’s like the game, but seeing a story with it. A fun part about it is they can throw in stuff from the old Mario, like the pixel art when they’re jumping.

Where’d you learn about pixel art?

Art class. We did it last year.

Really?

Yeah.

That’s cool. I always feel like I’d rather just play the video game, but you actually do like watching your cousin play Nintendo. It doesn’t get boring?

People might think it’s kind of boring watching someone play something but then again I ask: Why do you watch baseball?

You mean instead of playing baseball?

Yeah. You could go play baseball. But you really love to watch it.

Okay. But uh [long pause while figuring out a way not to concede the point to the child] we don’t really know what’s going to happen.

Same for a video game!

Well…

You follow a storyline, but anything could happen.

You thought this movie could end with Mario’s horrible death?

[Thinks hard about this]

I felt like I had a pretty good idea how that movie was going to end.

That’s because it’s based on a video game that you know.

That’s my point. It kind of feels like something you know already, almost too well. It’s not very surprising.

You knew [SPOILER REDACTED] was going to [SPOILER REDACTED]?

No, but I also haven’t played a lot of the more recent Mario games. I assume if I was more obsessive about it, I would know pretty much everything that was going to happen.

Who do you like better: Rosalina or Peach?

Rosalina.

Why do you like her better?

One: She has a wand.

Princess Peach has an umbrella. 

Yeah but it’s not a magic umbrella, Dad. It’s just an umbrella.

All right, I guess that’s an important distinction. Okay, Rosalina has a wand. Anything else?

She wears a blue dress.

Okay. You do like blue. Blue beats pink.

It’s not just that, though. Um … even thought we didn’t see so much of the character, the way she’s mothering to all the little stars is sweet.

Okay, yes. She takes care of the little star creatures. That’s nice. And even thought she gets kidnapped, she’s also pretty tough. She’s not just a damsel in distress.

Like Peach.

True.

In all the movies, there’s always moments where it’s like “You’re just a princess, what are you gonna do?” And then the princesses kick their butts. I think that’s good.

What about the Mario brothers? Which one is better?

I think Mario.

I feel like Luigi has a lot more personality. Mario’s just kind of, like, a guy. Luigi at least gets to be silly and scared.

Yeah. I think I’d want to play as Luigi — or Yoshi, he has a lot of personality.

Sure, of course, Yoshi is the best. We all know this … wait, how come this movie has a dinosaur that looks like Yoshi, and a dinosaur that looks like a dinosaur? How does that work?

In the Mario universe a dinosaur wouldn’t look the same.

Right. But then how come there is a dinosaur that looks like a dinosaur?

Because they’re in a different universe?

What universe were they in?

I don‘t know! They don’t say their names. The Milky Way? They’re on a different planet anyway. As you’d think, things work a little different there.

So Yoshi’s from a different planet. And on his planet, the dinosaurs look like him. And on the other planet the dinosaurs look like dinosaurs.

On his planet, Yoshi looks like a Yoshi.

I’m not sure I understand the distinction here.

If it was a Toad it wouldn’t be a Yoshi! It would be a Toad. If it was a Yoshi, it would be a Yoshi. It’s a cuter dinosaur.

Fair enough.

Okay, I honestly don’t know what I just said. I don’t understand it. But a Yoshi is a Yoshi.

“A Yoshi is a Yoshi,” so true. So true.

What did you think about all the stuff with Mario being like “Oh, I like Peach! Maybe she’ll be my girlfriend!”

Two things. I thought that was a little out of nowhere. Well, I guess not out of nowhere. Sometimes that happens in movies. But there’s barely any relationship between them. Not like friend relationship, like a … you know …

I got it, you’re not wrong. I thought it was kind of pathetic. It was like Mario didn’t have a personality and they had no story for him in this one, so they had to think of something for him to do. Get a life, Mario!

Yeah, he really just is “This Guy.” I did think Bowser would react more to that.

Oh yeah! He was in love with Peach in the first movie. What happened to that?

In the beginning [of The Super Mario Galaxy Movie] he made that painting for her. Then he forgets all about her.

You’re right. What’s up with that?

He doesn’t yell at Mario for liking Peach. I was waiting for that to happen.

But that didn’t affect your enjoyment of the movie?

No. It would have been funny, though. Also, all the outer space stuff was cool. There was a quest, there were problems, and then there’s finally the solution.

Do you have any questions for me?

What did you like about the movie?

I liked some of the character stuff. I thought it looked really nice, some of the animation is really beautiful.

The hair is amazing!

Like Bowser’s hair?

I guess. But more Rosalina’s and Peach’s hair.

So, yeah, it looks cool. I don’t love either of the Mario movies. I wish they were a little more story-based. It just seems like a bunch of stuff from the games thrown on the screen. Like “Here’s this from a game! Here’s this from a game!”

You want something new.

Yeah. There’s nothing terrible about them. They’re not awful.

You like playing Mario games.

Well that’s the thing. I love playing them with you. But is this movie preferable to our family playing a round of Mario Party together? I think I would have more fun playing Mario Party. Or Mario Kart. Or Smash Bros. I’m not sure this adds anything. I don’t leave going “Ugh, that was the worst night of my life!” I just feel like it wasn’t anything special.

I understand that. What was your favorite part?

I’m trying to think if I had a favorite part … actually, I did like the early scenes with Bowser, where he claims he’s trying to reform, and we see him trying to get along with Mario and Luigi.

Oh yeah… kids change you.

[laughs] Is that what Bowser said?

No, but his kid changes him!

Oh I see. Yes. It’s true, too. Kids really change you. They make everything so hard. You’re exhausted all the time. You never get to sleep again. 

You sleep Dad, stop. You sleep all the time. But kids do affect your decisions.

No, you’re right.

I am curious: Did you notice the guy sitting in the row behind us who was constantly clapping and going “Woo!” and “Yeah!” very loudly any time there was something in the movie from Nintendo games?

Yeah.

What did you think of that?

It was every time.

Why was he clapping so much? You play Nintendo. You recognize a lot of that stuff. How come you didn’t clap?

You didn’t either. You should be asking yourself that.

True. How would you have reacted if I had cheered and clapped through the whole movie?

I would have said nothing.

Would you have been embarrassed?

Not really.

Would you have wondered why I was such a weirdo?

No. I understand why that person was doing it. I just thought repetitively that was a little too much.

[laughs] Fair enough. What did you think of the voices? I don’t mean like the characters, but specifically how they sounded. Were there any that stood out as particularly funny?

I like Bowser, I like Luigi. Yoshi was fun, it went with the character … Rosalina and Peach sounded weirdly similar. It almost sounded like the same person.

Or an actor who didn’t particularly care all that much about what they were saying?

Dad stop. They just sounded similar. And it kind of confused my brain. Now Bowser Jr. was by far the worst voice.

The worst voice? Really? Why?

He sounded too grown up. He didn‘t sound like a kid. And it’s hard to hire a kid actor.

Why couldn’t they hire a kid actor? You could have done it.

Okay, I could have.

What would you want to see in the next Mario movie?

Honestly, more of Birdo. Birdo is kind of funny. There could be an entire adventure because Birdo is kind of a Yoshi.

You think Birdo and Yoshi are related?

The character Birdo and the character Yoshi … I think they’re both Yoshis?

But if Birdo is a Yoshi, why isn’t it called Yoshi? It’s called a Birdo.

Because that’s its name, Dad. You could name a dog Dog! Birdo’s probably not a Yoshi Yoshi.

You’re saying Birdo is the name of that specific creature, not the name of their entire species.

Or maybe it is the name of the species, but the species are related? Snakes and turtles are different, but they’re both reptiles.

I see. So Birdos and Yoshis are of the same genus?

I guess. If you look at pictures of them side by side you can see it.

I’m learning a lot about Mario tonight. But wait, Birdos spit out eggs, Yoshis eat things and then poop out eggs.

Well, that makes them even more similar!

No, they poop them out!

[getting louder] So? They’re both doing a very similar thing! Just from different ends! One out of the mouth and one out of the rear end. One’s pooping and one is puking!

[points] You just freaked out that woman. Do you see how fast she’s walking to get away from us?

[hysterical laugh]