Are two basic money skills enough for couples to build a rich life? Here’s what Ramit Sethi says
Ramit Sethi talking to Moneywise
Two of the most powerful habits a household has for building financial stability are controlling its daily cash flow and long-term planning. Yet in many relationships, it’s common to default to that one partner who’s “good with money” to manage the finances while the other steps back. However, both partners need financial-planning skills and, according to Ramit Sethi, that’s easier to achieve than most couples realize.
Sethi, the New York Times bestselling author of Money for Couples, says building just two foundational skills can bring partners significantly closer to living what he calls a “rich life.”
“If we do these two things: know our numbers and master our money psychology, then we have a very good shot at living a rich life,” Sethi says (1).
Simple as they sound, these habits are surprisingly easy to overlook — especially if it’s difficult for couples to have conversations about money and financial goals in the first place.
A 2025 TD survey found that most Canadians (around 70%) agreed that financial transparency is crucial (2). That being said, a BMO survey found that spending is a source of relationship tension for one third of couples, and 11% of Canadians said they have not been truthful to their partner about their finances (3).
Here’s why Sethi believes that knowing your numbers and your money mindset can strengthen not only your finances, but your relationship, too.
The first step for any couple to successfully co-manage their finances is straightforward: Know your numbers. That means getting clear on the basics, such as total household debt, credit card balances, monthly cashflow amounts and even the simple milestones you’re working towards together.
“If we have debt, what is the exact month and year that our debt will be paid off? When will we be a millionaire?” he said.
It sounds obvious, but Sethi says many couples can’t answer the most basic question: How much money is in our bank account right now? And that lack of clarity often shows up elsewhere.
A 2024 BMO-commissioned poll found that many couples delay discussing money matters. While over 50% of respondents say finances should be discussed “early” in a relationship, exact timing remains subjective — 10% think “early” means after the first few dates, 41% say when the relationship becomes official and 31% say when they begin living together (4).
If you suspect you see money differently from your significant other — or you simply want to get on the same page about big goals like buying a home or planning for retirement — carving out time for an open and honest conversation can go a long way.
Sethi recommends short, regular check-ins to keep things transparent and make a sensitive topic feel a little less intimidating.
While numbers matter, attitude and mindset still drive behaviour. For many Canadians in committed relationships, how they think about money can make or break things. A 2024 BMO poll found that 35% of coupled Canadians believe their partner spends too much money (5).
“The way we talk about money affects the way we behave with money. And the way that we behave with money affects the way we feel about money,” Sethi said.
Sethi suggests identifying your “money type” to give you insight on your financial mindset. Your “type” can reveal how you respond to and interact with your finances:
The Avoider. This type dodges financial tasks. This behaviour includes ignoring bills, skipping budget planning or avoiding checking account balances.
The Optimizer. Optimizers love rules, systems and efficiency. They track everything, try to “beat” the financial game and thrive on structure.
The Worrier. Worry can be rooted in real financial instability. But as Sethi says, it’s more about behaviour learned from childhood. A parent losing a job, for example, can imprint money-related fear that lingers long after someone’s financial situation improves.
The Dreamer. Dreamers rely on magical thinking, convincing themselves that an easy fix is always around the corner, like winning the lottery. They’re more vulnerable to get-rich-quick pitches. Once you understand the psychology you’re each bringing to the table, it becomes a lot easier to make choices that strengthen both your finances and your partnership.
Building a strong financial partnership isn’t about making everything perfect. It starts with two simple skills: knowing your numbers and understanding your money mindset. And according to Sethi, a red flag — and outright relationship dealbreaker — is a partner who refuses to discuss money matters within the relationship.
But when a couple shares clarity on cash flow, financial goals and the beliefs that drive their habits, money conversations become easier and more collaborative. If you want to strengthen both your finances and your relationship, start with short, honest check-ins. Taking the time to commit to these conversations will help get you both on the same financial page.
