Friday, February 20

As a Hardcore Fan, This Is My Ranking of the All-Time Best ’80s Horror Movies


I’ve always loved horror. My parents were fine with me watching just about anything growing up, but they didn’t want me anywhere near horror, which made it the most important thing in my young life. In my decades of watching, I’ve seen horror go through many phases, and while I think we’re on a legendary run with our current stream of movies, there’s something special about the ’80s.

The sheer volume of horror movies that came out in the ’80s is staggering, so it’s incredibly hard to narrow down my favorites. I wish I could list the top 50 horror movies of the ’80s, but that sounds like a lot of work, so I’m stopping at ten. Obviously, some big movies aren’t going to make the cut, and even though I love them all, I love the following ten more. This is my desert island list of the top ’80s horror movies.

10

‘Sleepaway Camp’ (1983)

Angela and Ricky look off camera in Sleepaway Camp
Angela and Ricky look off camera in Sleepaway Camp
Image via United Film Distribution Company

My love for Sleepaway Camp pushed some heavy hitters out of the top ten, but I can’t speak on ’80s horror and not include it. The cult-classic slasher follows young Angela Baker (Felissa Rose) and her cousin Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten) as they head off to camp for the summer. The shy and withdrawn Angela is having a hard time making friends, but she’s also running out of options as a serial killer carves their way through the campers and counselors.

Sleepaway Camp is often incorrectly labeled as a Friday the 13th clone, but outside the setting, they are completely different movies. I unironically love the weird script decisions and the odd performances, like Angela’s aunt Martha (Desiree Gould), who I find unsettling in a way that only therapy could explain. It’s a fever dream with wild kills that don’t hold back, and I would watch this movie again and again, even if it didn’t have an ending that left me staring blankly at the screen.

9

‘Creepshow’ (1982)

A corpse crawls out of a grave in the "Father's Day" segment of Creepshow.
A corpse crawls out of a grave in the “Father’s Day” segment of Creepshow.
Image via Warner Bros.

Playful, campy, and grotesque at all the right moments, Creepshow is a timeless horror anthology I always revisit. The horror dream team of George A. Romero and Stephen King presents five stories of terror in the style of the EC horror comics from the early 1950s. The survival rate is low, the special effects are over the top, and it’s fun from beginning to end.

Tales From the Crypt is one of my all-time favorite shows, and Creepshow does a spot-on job of capturing the spirit of the classic comic books used for source material. Each segment of Creepshow brings a slightly different tone to give the movie a well-rounded sampling of horror, and the wraparound story is satisfying for anyone who ever had their comics thrown away. And if all that isn’t enough, watching Ed Harris dance is worth the price of admission.

8

‘The Blob’ (1988)

A woman is trapped in a phone booth surrounded by a pink monster in The Blob.
A woman is trapped in a phone booth surrounded by a pink monster in The Blob.
Image via Tri-Star Pictures

The ’80s seemed to perfect the art of remaking older horror movies for the modern age, but the one that never receives enough praise is The Blob. The film tells the story of a pink, gelatinous slime that grows in size after consuming any living organism that crosses its path. Rapidly expanding into a gigantic blob, the alien creature looks to be unstoppable as it eats the residents of an unsuspecting small town.

When explaining the plot of The Blob to someone, they will likely think it’s stupid, because it’s about murder slime, but watching it will silence the skeptics. The Blob is ruthless with the death scenes, and all it takes is to hear the sizzling skin when a victim makes contact to inject unbearable tension going forward. The Blob turns an absurd monster into a force of nature, and makes phone booths (ask your parents) look like death traps that should be avoided.

7

‘An American Werewolf in London’ (1981)

David Naughton as David Kessler in the werewolf transformation scene in An American Werewolf in London.
David Naughton as David Kessler in the werewolf transformation scene in An American Werewolf in London.
Image via Universal Pictures

Few movies can create scenes that weave humor and horror together as smoothly as An American Werewolf in London. A backpacking trip through England ends in tragedy when students David Kessler (David Naughton) and Jack Goodman (Griffin Dunne) are attacked by a werewolf. David manages to recover from his wounds, but the curse of a werewolf is passed to him, and the London victims that he soon begins to rip apart on a full moon.

An American Werewolf in London is a mixture of so many things; it’s a romance, a dark comedy, and a tragedy, all packed inside a clever werewolf movie. It’s a story where, if you take a step back, you realize there can’t be a good outcome, but Naughton is so likable as David that you root for him to find a solution that doesn’t involve a silver bullet. I love the whole movie, but the scene with David talking to his victims in the theater is fascinating, macabre, and absurd.

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6

‘Aliens’ (1986)

Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in Aliens (1986), moving down a corridor with a flamethrower.
Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in Aliens (1986), moving down a corridor with a flamethrower.
Image via 20th Century Studios

Alien is unquestionably a sci-fi horror masterwork, which makes it all the more impressive that Aliens found so many ways to stretch the source material into fun new directions. After being the sole survivor of a Xenomorph attack, Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) faces the alien threat once again when it appears a colony was attacked by the creature. Although Ripley is escorted by a squadron of trained marines, they won’t be prepared for an infested hive of Xenomorphs and their queen.

Director James Cameron constructed the first great action horror movie in Aliens, and although I deeply respect Alien, I will be more apt to rewatch Aliens. The pacing of Aliens is literally perfect, choosing the exact right moment to slow down, catch a breath, and build our characters before sending them back out into hell. I’m just as guilty as anyone about being on my phone while watching something, but I forget I own one when Aliens is on, and that’s basically a miracle.

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5

‘Poltergeist’ (1982)

A skeletal apparition in front of a door with a person looking scared in front of it in Poltergeist, 1982.
A skeletal apparition in front of a door with a person looking scared in front of it in Poltergeist, 1982.
Image via MGM

A haunted house story that has long been a personal favorite of mine is Poltergeist. The film follows the Freelings, a family who think they’ve purchased their slice of the American dream in a new planned community. Their dream soon turns into a nightmare, however, when a malicious group of spirits terrorizes the family and captures their youngest daughter, Carol Anne (Heather O’Rourke).

From seeing Carol Anne deliver the creepy, iconic line, “They’re here,” to the clown attack scene, Poltergeist is filled with quintessential ’80s horror moments. The film endures because the collaboration between director Tobe Hooper and writer and producer Steven Spielberg incorporates both of their sensibilities into a unique package. The film goes to some dark places that are distinctly Hooper, but it also has a warm family dynamic, which was right up Spielberg’s alley. It would have been interesting to see them work on more things together.

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4

‘The Shining’ (1980)

The Shining is an iconic horror movie featuring star power that many other films in the genre weren’t lucky enough to have. Jack Nicholson stars as Jack Torrance, a man who moves his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and their young son Danny (Danny Lloyd) into a large, massive hotel during its offseason. Jack is hired to be a caretaker, but after some encouragement from the ghosts who live there, he begins remodeling with an axe aimed at Wendy and Danny.

Nicholson is at his iconic best, and Duvall doesn’t get enough credit for an incredible performance, but I’m always left thinking about the feeling of dread The Shining conveys. The great haunted house stories make the house a character, and there’s possibly no greater cursed landmark than the Overlook Hotel. The hotel is empty, foreboding, and weirdly beautiful at the same time, and I think that also works to describe the movie itself.

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3

‘The Fly’ (1986)

Scientist Seth Brundle sits nude, ready to use his teleportation device in The Fly.
Scientist Seth Brundle sits nude, ready to use his teleportation device in The Fly.
Image via 20th Century Studios

The older I get, the deeper my appreciation grows for the 1986 remake of The Fly. The film tells the story of Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum), a scientist who invents the ability to teleport with experimental pods. There were still a few tweaks left to figure out, though, because when an ordinary housefly enters the pod during one of Seth’s trial runs, his DNA becomes fused with the insect, which slowly turns him into a monster.

Working off an admittedly hokey B-movie premise, director David Cronenberg creates a somber and tragic film about succumbing to a terminal disease. We witness the light and enthusiasm slowly fade from Seth, a man with an established genius intellect, as he watches his body transform into something unrecognizable. The fly monster makeup is extraordinary, and as repulsive as Brundle’s final form is, the tearful goodbye from his lover, Ronnie (Geena Davis), is a reminder of the man he once was.

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2

‘The Thing’ (1982)

R.J. MacReady looking around with a lantern in The Thing.
R.J. MacReady looking around with a lantern in The Thing.
Image via Universal Pictures

John Carpenter is one of the best to do it, and even if it took time for the critics to catch up to his genius, everyone had to eventually agree that The Thing is brilliant filmmaking. A group of Antarctic researchers thinks they’re taking in a scared sled dog, but what they’ve actually done is lock themselves in with a shapeshifting creature. With the strange thing able to take the form of any of the men, paranoia and fear divide them as the creature literally divides their bodies into pieces.

It’s a cinematic travesty that The Thing derailed Carpenter’s career, because who knows what other amazing works he could have created given the resources during this time. Box office receipts be damned, The Thing is a masterpiece of a horror movie that attacks the viewer from two sides. The alien is grade-A nightmare fuel with moving parts that shouldn’t go together, and the escalating tension between the men — the idea that no one can be trusted in a situation that is becoming clearly hopeless — hits fans of the nihilistic movie at their core.

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1

‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ (1984)

Freddy Krueger, played by Robert Englund, brandishing his finger-knives in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Freddy Krueger, played by Robert Englund, brandishing his finger-knives in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Image via New Line Cinema

When it comes to ’80s horror, A Nightmare on Elm Street and its bladed boogeyman encapsulate the era more than any other film. The teenagers of Springwood, Ohio, are having the worst nightmares ever, and when they die in the dream, they die the same way in real life. At the center of all their fears is a smiling killer known as Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund), and he has a score to settle that won’t stop until they’re all dead.

It feels somewhat predictable to make Wes Craven’s ingenious take on the slasher genre number one, but Freddy Krueger was the face of ’80s scares. In a genre packed with silent killers, Freddy stood out as the best at taunting his victims before striking the killing blow. When the kills did happen, it was something audiences could never predict, like sucking Jack Sparrow into a bed, or dragging a victim up a wall. A Nightmare on Elm Street was a commercial success that exemplified the best aspect of horror: there are no boundaries on storytelling, and creativity and originality are always appreciated by the fans.



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