(This post is adapted from one on the LibraryDVDLove website.)
Here’s your link for the movie! It’s from a Strange Site, but most internet security experts consider it pretty safe (for streaming; I wouldn’t try downloading). It has no commercials, so no sync issues! Sync issues are a pain on Movie Nights! Start the show at 7:30!
This was suggested by Zach, who hasn’t wanted to do any Movie Nights because he doesn’t want reading/adding comments to distract from watching the movie. Since he knows this movie by heart, the comments won’t distract him.
Fair enough!
I haven’t seen it since it came out, because I really screwed this one up.
I was working as a projectionist at a movie theater back then, and movies came shipped to the theaters via FedEx or whatever. They were all shipped in reels about 20 minutes long or so. Here’s a photo of what a reel can looked like, it had a couple of reels in it:
That’s what you’d get shipped to the theater, is a few cans like that.
Then you’d attach them together with special film tape, and put them on a big circular platter. The platter would gradually speed up, and the entire movie would run from one platter, through a series of rollers, into and out of the projector. Onto another platter. Next showing, run the film from the full platter onto the empty one. Here’s what those platters looked like (the third one would be if you had a double feature).
Well, when it came to BTTF3, our head projectionist had made a minor mistake.
He’d attached one of the reels incorrectly. It would, when that mistake came up, make the movie show the top of one frame and the bottom of another. Like this:
Now, that’s an easy thing to fix when you’re showing the movie; there’s a knob on the projector you can adjust to move the image up/down. Once the mistake comes up, the picture will look wonky for a few seconds, then the projectionist can fix it.
But, our head projectionist was embarrassed about making that mistake. It was Opening Day of a big blockbuster movie; we had one of the biggest screens in America, over 1000 seats. Everything was sold out for the evening shows, and the weekend would probably be huge. He didn’t have time to fix the mistake now, but he’d fix it tomorrow. I just needed to be aware of it, and adjust the knob for the rest of the evening shift.
So I decided to impress everyone with my 17-year-old Projector Knowledge.
I would fix the mistake.
In between showings, I super-speeded the movie platters up to the mistake, making it go slow at first, then faster and faster. Like slowly speeding up a lazy Susan with salt shakers on it. That’s how I’d have time to get to the mistake, and fix it before the next showing. What the head projectionist didn’t do. (For good reason!)
And then, when I got to the mistake, the reel tape I was gonna fix, I GRABBED THE PLATTER AND STOPPED IT. Here’s a closer view of those platter systems. Take a look at the middle of each platter:
See that metal ring in the middle of the unused bottom platter? It’s attached to the platter via pegs and holes, it ain’t going nowhere. There’s another metal ring just like it on the top platter; it’s where the film goes once it’s been through the projector. It ain’t going nowhere.
But that middle platter? The one feeding out the film? Nothing is holding that sucker in place except gravity.
What do you think would happen if you grabbed a lazy Susan moving at high speed and stopped it? All the salt shakers would fly off. Angular momentum, baby, basic physics.
And that’s what happened when I grabbed and quick-stopped the platter with half of Back to the Future III on it.
Whoosh! The movie flew off the platter and onto the floor. And it totally unspooled.
It was fuggin’ ruined. It was destroyed. It looked like if your cat played with a ball of yarn, except your cat was totally on cocaine.
I went downstairs and told my manager “we have got a major problem here,” and he came upstairs.
And when he saw that unspooled cat yarn, he just sank to his knees and put his hands on his face. I mean, I remember that Ultimate Despair 35+ years later.
We’re talking 1050 seats (it was a huge screen!) sold out for that showing, all of whose customers wanted their money back. Ads already placed in the newspaper about tonight’s and tomorrow’s showtimes.
Which wasn’t gonna happen until Universal shipped out another copy of the movie I ruined (and each copy probably cost about $5000 or so).
It did not make the ticket window people happy with me (they had to handle all the refunds), or the manager or the head projectionist. But I wasn’t fired. Their attitude was “wow, you will NEVER make that dumb mistake again.” And they were right!
Although, my calc teacher knew I was the projectionist on duty. And she had gone with her entire family. She was TICKED. So she threatened to withhold my diploma unless I took Remedial Extra Calc at her house. And she was a big doodoo head.
Is there a moral to this story?
No.
But that’s why I haven’t watched this movie since it came out. So, like, I forgot ZZ Top was in it:
Oh, and apparently this scene’s in the second movie:
It’s officially a Baseball Movie Series, then!
Here’s your link again for the movie! Click your clicks at 7:30!
Here’s the upcoming schedule:
February 27: The Stratton Story (1949)
James Stewart plays a pitcher who makes the majors, falls in love, then faces intense obstacles. Haven’t seen it, but it’s based on a true story, which in Hollywood means “100% accurate.” Free on the Strange Site.
March 6: Stop Making Sense (1984)
You may ask yourself: do we have some rock fans, here? We do. And this is one of the very best rock-concert movies. Featuring the Talking Heads and a totally badass touring band. Free on the Strange Site.
March 13: 42 (2013)
I wanna make sure we get this one in, because we started with The Jackie Robinson Story. I might be outta town March 20. Free on the Strange Site.
March 20: Field of Dreams (1989)
So, if I’m outta town, I can trust all y’all to behave nicely to each other during this one, right? You’re all nice people. Most of ya. Free on the Strange Site.
No more time for suggestions this year… but, who knows, maybe we’ll give it a go next year, too? In any case, show starts at 7:30!