It’s easy to laugh at the antics of others, but for some reason, the ability to laugh at oneself is underappreciated. It probably shouldn’t be, however. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who can laugh at themselves are almost impossible not to like.
Some people are just naturally easy to like. They’re the kinds of people who, when you meet them, within a few minutes, the conversation feels comfortable and relaxed. It’s something about their demeanor that can captivate a room, but likable individuals also view humor differently. In a nutshell, they don’t take themselves too seriously, and that makes them even more endearing.
People who can laugh at themselves are almost impossible not to like, according to science.
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Findings from the study suggest that being able to find humor in a moment when others might be embarrassed or insecure makes you more likable. Laughing at your personal foibles, even if you trip in front of your crush, makes you appear more authentic and more relatable.
In fact, laughing at the coffee stain on your suit before a meeting has a much bigger impact on those around you than shrinking in shame or embarrassment. You come off not only more confident, but more competent as well. And people are simply drawn to those who don’t sweat the small stuff.
Laughing at yourself makes you look better than blushing or showing embarrassment.
“Owning your mistake and laughing first can completely shift the room — you move from being judged to being relatable,” explained the study’s co-author, Övül Sezer. “Laughing at yourself signals self-acceptance, and we love people who accept themselves.”
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The study was inspired, in part, by Sezer’s research interests. She studies impression management by examining how others perceive us through our actions. Sezer also has experience performing as a stand-up comedian, so let’s just say she knows her stuff when it comes to putting embarrassment aside and embracing the humor in ourselves.
Sezer and her colleagues ran six experiments involving more than 3,000 participants who read about other people’s embarrassing mishaps. They were then shown photos that gave them a sense of how the person who had an embarrassing moment reacted. In some cases, the individual appeared flustered and self-conscious; in others, they laughed at themselves. Everyone who laughed at themselves was perceived in a more positive light than those who were uncomfortable.
Being able to laugh at yourself usually sends a reassuring message to others.
“You don’t even have to comfort me anymore — it’s the best of both worlds,” Sezer said, pointing out that laughing at yourself can instantly put others at ease.
“Embarrassment signals heightened self-consciousness,” Sezer continued. “It’s almost like you’re overly focused on how you’re being evaluated.” When you laugh at a foible, it shows confidence and a self-assuredness that’s both humble and infectious.
“The benefits of a good sense of humor are well known. That, and the laughter it facilitates, reduces stress and feelings of depression, increases serotonin and dopamine, improves heart health, reduces pain, improves sleep, boosts immunity, enhances creativity, and so on,” pointed out clinical psychologist Charles Harper Webb.
So, the next time you find yourself in a moment that can easily make you feel embarrassed, it’s best not to let it show. Being able to simply laugh at yourself and keep it moving can completely change how people see you. They see how relaxed and confident you are, and it truly does take the pressure off the moment.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.