THE NEWZEALAND STORY: Untold Adventure review

We are currently in an age where AI swallows up huge amounts of data before spitting out a detailed, yet depressingly insipid reproduction. Across all forms of media, from writing to game design, we are steadily seeing works that imitate structure but lack the personality of the source material. And while I don’t know if any kind of machine learning was used by developer BitoBit’s THE NEWZEALAND STORY: Untold Adventure, the game sure captures the glaring insipidness of artificial intelligence. I’m not sure if developer BitoBit ever understood the allure of the original.

Yes, technically this is a recreation of Taito’s 1988 platformer. Tiki the kiwi still makes his way through a marginally accurate recreation of the original stages as well as the inclusion of a new world. Key elements, from the floating enemies, variety of weapons, to the collectable letters that spell out E-X-T-R-A, are all present in some form. But as soon as you begin a game, it’s unmistakably evident that things are off. And that feeling won’t vanish as you make your way through the game, as platforms inexplicably push you around until you make your way through the revised ending sequence.

Familiar Stages, Unfamiliar Feel

Yes, NEWZEALAND STORY‘s physics have been noticeably modified. No longer does our heroic bird move with a distinctive type. The original game delivered a leap that channeled the nervousness of a flightless bird navigating through environments filled with spikes and hordes of projectile-flinging foes. There was just enough floaty inelegance and speed to give the sprite some personality.

But here, Tiki responds differently, with a descent that feels too quick and heavy. The result is a character that drops abruptly instead of soaring into position, which frequently disrupts timing when attempting to land on narrow ledges or evade enemy projectiles. Not only does this ruin the sensation of controlling a kiwi, but it makes the game’s bouts of precision platforming more difficult. As such, the tension of reading the screen for dangers has been transformed into “will the game let me make this jump?”. And that question needs to factor in some very spotty collision detection. I played enough of THE NEWZEALAND STORY to know where the cheating areas were. BitoBit made no attempt to preserve or restructure these.

New Stages, Inspiration Not Included

Presumably, Untold Adventure’s penultimate new world is the headline addition, luring fans to give this a go. But largely, these all reflect serviceable but inspired level design. The layouts rely on straightforward enemy placement and basic platform sequences rather than the layered traps and surprise hazards of the original stages. Nothing is inherently broken, but nothing feels inspired either. It all feels like it was made by a machine that understood the grammar of platforming but not the poetry. That slightly sadistic feeling of the original is absent, replaced by utilitarian showdowns. And I still can’t believe that the developers fumbled the belly-of-the-whale boss fight so badly.

Expectedly, Untold Adventure opts to add visual detail to the original game. And while the fidelity might have been increased, the charm of the original spritework has been lost in the process. The crisp pixel animation that once gave enemies and environments a lively bounce has been replaced with smoother, but less expressive, artwork. Taito’s original game conveyed plucky charm, as our sneaker-clad protagonist ascended through the multi-scrolling stages. Now, everything is tidier yet blander, like a lo-fi album that lost its organic pop-and-hiss for a sterile, digital remastering. CFK Digital did the same thing to Wonder Boy Returns Remix, and I don’t understand why this keeps happening.

Remade, But Not Remembered

That said, there’s probably an audience who will find a modicum of enjoyment within Untold Adventure. It’s probably someone who adored the original game and can overlook an uninspired attempt to revisit The NewZealand Story. While it might chug on lower-end systems, hit points and checkpointing diminish some of the frustrations of the original game. These changes soften the punishing nature of the arcade original, which demanded near-perfect runs through certain sections. But part of me wonders if this leniency is to help counterbalance some of the problems this remake creates for itself.

Overall, THE NEWZEALAND STORY: Untold Adventure has all the ingredients of the original but none of its flavor. This feels like a time-honored recipe attempted by an apprentice cook. Throw it out and consider this a learned experience rather than something intended for paying customers.