In the Hebrew month of Adar, which begins this week, there is a special mitzvah to increase your joy during the days leading up to the holiday of Purim. Here are four strategies for increasing your happiness.
1. Eliminate a Negative Keystone Habit
In his book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg describes a “keystone” habit as one that affects many—or even all—of your other habits, creating a domino effect. Duhigg explains how a positive keystone habit, like regular exercise, can lead to other healthy behaviors such as better sleep and improved nutrition.
But we all also have negative keystone habits, behaviors that quietly undermine multiple areas of our lives. What is one habit or behavior that, if eliminated, would significantly improve your quality of life?
Most people know what that habit is and they know it would enhance both their personal and professional happiness.
These habits might include not exercising, getting insufficient sleep, drinking excessively, or spending hours on social media. Each person has a different behavior that creates a ripple effect across everything else. Consider identifying your negative keystone habit and try eliminating it for a month. Notice what shifts.
2. Work on Feeling Loved
Happiness research consistently shows that our relationships are the strongest predictors of overall well-being. In their book How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most, Dr. Harry Reis and Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky explain that it’s not only the presence of relationships that matters, it’s whether you are able to truly feel and receive love from the people in your life.
Paradoxically, the path to feeling more loved begins with helping others feel more loved by you.
According to their research, people often try to feel more loved by either fixing themselves (becoming more attractive, successful, accomplished, etc.) or trying to fix the other person (insisting they respond in a particular love language or provide reassurance in specific ways). But paradoxically, the path to feeling more loved begins with helping others feel more loved by you.
You can do this by focusing more on listening than speaking, and more on understanding than on being understood.
This month, shift your attention toward the person you want to connect with. Step back from measuring how much they are giving you, and instead invest in deepening the connection itself.
3. Practice Micro-Joys
One common mistake people make about happiness is assuming it lives primarily in life’s big moments and grand pleasures. You imagine that greater happiness will come from a bigger vacation or a more elaborate celebration. While these experiences can be pleasurable, they rarely create consistent, daily joy.
Research suggests that sustainable happiness comes from noticing and savoring “micro-joys”—small, meaningful moments woven into everyday life. Examples include holding your child or grandchild, savoring your first sip of coffee in the morning, noticing sunlight filtering through the trees on your commute home, or sending a thoughtful compliment to someone each day.
Don’t overestimate the impact of life’s major milestones and underestimate the joy available in ordinary moments. This month, commit to identifying at least one micro-joy each day. Pause, savor it, and allow yourself to fully appreciate it.
4. Contribute to the World
Numerous psychological studies have found that cultivating purpose and meaning is one of the most powerful ways to increase long-term happiness. And one of the most effective paths to meaning is contributing to the lives of others.
You might do this through mentoring, teaching, or sharing knowledge. Or you could commit this month to performing one intentional act of kindness each day for someone who truly needs support. You can strengthen your community or use your skills and resources to advance a cause larger than yourself.
Researchers often recommend structuring your environment and schedule to reinforce your values and goals, ensuring that meaning and purpose remain priorities. Set aside time to share what you learn or to reach out to someone in need. Surround yourself with books and people who nurture your values. And ask yourself a simple but transformative question: How can I be most helpful in this moment?
Rabbi Nachman of Breslov taught: “Joy is not merely incidental to your spiritual quest; it is vital.”
The month of Adar provides a special opportunity to increase your joy and to share it with one another. Turn each day this month into a personal challenge: seek out both the micro-joys and the meaningful moments that bring light and happiness into your life and into the lives of those around you.