(Credits: Dangerous Minds / Stanford University Press)
In the world of music, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was a prodigy on a scale that has never been seen before or since.
The stories surrounding Mozart are legendary for good reason. After all, he was composing and performing to royalty at five-years-old on multiple instruments, before composing his first symphony at eight, writing his first opera at 11, and dying penniless at 35 with over 800 works composed, including a fistful of the greatest works in the history of classical music. E
Except that’s arguably not what Mozart is famous for these days, isn’t it? Thanks to Peter Shaffer’s play Amadeus and its absolutely masterful 1984 movie adaptation, Mozart is as famous for his temperament as he was for his music.
Yes, Mozart was a prodigy. Anyone who’s known a prodigy knows that they’re often utterly insufferable. By all accounts, Mozart wasn’t the absolute worst person in the world. He wasn’t rude, a bully or vindictive the way that so many of his peers were; he just acted like a child. Which, y’know, he was. He was vulgar in his ostentatious tastes, unruly, loud and was a little too fond of remaining the centre of attention. The worst sin you could accuse him of embodying was an uncouthness that belied his godlike talent, and never was this more apparent than with his sense of humour.
Put simply, his jokes were the kind that the Wayans Brothers would call a little puerile. There wasn’t a fart gag too crass or an anecdote about shitting the bed too gross for any social gathering. Considering he was the official musician of a literal royal court for most of his teenage years, those social gatherings would have been particularly uptight. However, this passion for all things scatological wouldn’t just be saved for after his concerts.
No, he wrote music inspired by the things, no matter how trivial, he found funny, as well.
Did Mozart really write music like this?
In fairness to the lad, he didn’t take these compositions to the stage. They were never published until centuries after his death in 1791 and were most likely jokes shared with close friends. They also take the form of canons, or rounds. A style of songwriting based around a central verse which is little more than a limerick. Then, you get a group of inebriated mates around, one person starts singing it, then after a few beats, another person starts singing it from the top, then another, then another until everyone collapses from laughter or throws up from the booze.
With the right group of friends under the right kind of influence, this probably didn’t take all that much time when six lads are hollering the words to ‘Leck mich im Arsch’, a delightful little ditty that translates to English as ‘Lick me in the Arse’. This wasn’t the last of Mozart’s odes to this particular joy, but the rest of them were existing songs that he changed the lyrics to, taking the song ‘Tu sei gelosa, è vero’ by Wenzel Trnka and changing the words to ‘Leck mir den Arsch fein recht schön sauber’. Which translates to English as ‘Lick my arse right well and clean’. One of the great minds in classical music, ladies and gentlemen.
He wasn’t done there, either. The last words to ‘Bona nox’ act as proof that people, for centuries, have always been a sucker for a good fart joke.
His humour, if you want to call it that, gets even more shocking when you take into account the kind of filth he was writing in his letters. Nevertheless, it’s worth bearing in mind that historical figures like Mozart contain multitudes, like all of us do. He wasn’t simply an immature bore or simply a musical genius; he was both in equal measure.
Understanding will help you understand the people of today as well, I guarantee it.