Why financial intimacy is top of mind for Canadian couples this Valentine’s Day
Couple discussing finances
As Valentine’s Day approaches, many Canadian couples are confronting a less romantic reality: money is becoming one of the most important, and most difficult, parts of their relationship.
New research from Wise shows that while money conversations are becoming more common, they’re far from easy. Three-quarters of Canadian couples say they feel comfortable talking about finances with their partner, yet 81% still report disagreements during those conversations — a gap that highlights how openness doesn’t always translate into alignment.
“Financial intimacy is about openness, trust, and alignment — understanding each other’s values and habits around earning, spending, saving and planning, and making decisions together with transparency and respect,” said Ankita D’Mello, principal product manager at Wise, in an interview with Money.ca.
The Wise survey, conducted in 2025 among 2,000 Canadian couples, suggests that conflict tends to arise less from major financial shocks and more from everyday decisions.
The most common sources of disagreement include spending on non-essential items such as streaming subscriptions and vacations (30%), differing views on what counts as a monthly necessity (29%) and how much should be saved relative to income (25%). Many couples also cited deeper discomfort drivers, including fear of triggering arguments (28%), mismatched spending philosophies (26%) and differing perceptions of financial responsibility (25%).
“Conversation alone doesn’t guarantee alignment,” D’Mello noted. “True financial intimacy comes from listening, staying open, and building shared habits that work for both partners.”
That tension can become more pronounced as financial lives grow more complex. Cross-border couples, for example, reported higher levels of disagreement and uncertainty, particularly around managing different currencies, transferring money internationally and deciding which financial tools to trust. Nearly one-third of cross-border couples said managing currencies and transfers was a significant source of friction, compared with just 5% of couples living solely in Canada.
One response to this friction is a growing trend toward scheduled “admin nights,” or dedicated check-ins where couples review expenses, plan upcoming costs and align on shared goals.
Wise’s research suggests these structured conversations can help reduce the emotional charge around money by shifting discussions away from reactive moments. More than half of Canadians already report having regular financial discussions, but without structure, those conversations often coincide with stress points like overspending or unexpected bills.
“These are intentional check-ins where couples set aside time to deal with money calmly and proactively,” said D’Mello. “They’re resonating now because many couples are navigating more financial complexity, which makes reactive money conversations stressful.”
By creating predictability, admin nights help couples replace avoidance or conflict with routine. Some couples even reframe them as low-key date nights to make the process feel more collaborative and less confrontational.
The Wise survey shows that timing matters less than depth. While there’s no universal moment for “the money talk,” most Canadians believe it’s appropriate to begin sharing expenses when planning a future together (37%) or when moving in (34%).
Within the first year of a relationship, Canadians prioritize conversations about existing debt (70%), sharing expenses (69%), budgeting strategies (66%), and major planned purchases such as a home, car or education (62%). Earlier conversations tend to focus on values rather than numbers, setting the groundwork for later planning.
“Early on, it’s less about numbers and more about understanding each other’s philosophy,” D’Mello told Money.ca. “As relationships become more serious, those conversations naturally deepen.”
Despite this, many couples tend to delay transparency. Nearly two in five Canadians (39%) said they didn’t have a meaningful money conversation until after moving in together or reaching later milestones, while 15% said they haven’t had the conversation at all.
Wise’s data suggests that couples who develop shared financial habits, such as budgeting together or setting joint goals, report higher satisfaction with shared responsibilities.
Three-quarters of Canadian couples said they feel satisfied with how financial responsibilities are divided, and 66% said they share similar philosophies about money.
“Shared habits create clarity,” D’Mello said. “When both partners understand where money is going and why, long-term planning feels more achievable.”
For couples who’ve been together for decades, financial intimacy shifts away from monthly budgeting and more toward bigger-picture planning.
“Later in life, the focus moves to retirement lifestyle, caregiving costs, and how to support adult children without compromising financial security,” D’Mello said.
These conversations are often overlooked because couples rely on assumptions formed earlier in life. That’s why revisiting personal goals, including how partners want to spend money on themselves after years of prioritizing family, becomes increasingly important.
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
